magaretnahmias

How I Tripped Over the Rock Of Offense

Rage is all the rage and we all engage it until we get wiser but by then the emotional damage might have been to us and others.

I learned this hard way wading through the whole controversy with Backstreet Boys member Brian Littrell and his wife Leighanne. Ite trolling that I hated For example One twitter user who now goes by Emmepath_utd4 even wished the wished death on the whole family. And I thought how do you respond something like that? You don’ Another user and I reported the tweet. The tweet was removed and the account was suspended I thought permanently until she returned. I tweeted her that I hope she learned her lesson from the first ban with a sarcastic welcome back . I thought I was holding her accountable but I realized I was doing the very thing I was complaining about. I was trying to settle scores against I had a spiteful glee when two accounts criticizing them suddenly were deleted. My first thought was were they frustrated over the fact that his groupmates did not treat them harshly? Did they run out of criticism material? Then I realized I just don’t know why they left maybe there were on the end of very toxicity that I was concerned about it since one blocked me I was not going to know.

I was becoming the very rageaholic I did not want to be especially against things and people I could not control and I will never know personally . I used to be very good at ignoring internet arguments but when I started to get into Twitter heavily I began diving  deeper into the cesspool. I promptly deleted my main twitter account because it was not brining me joy anymore. Even my dad who is prone to anger saw it and warned me. We confuse these feelings for righteous anger when most of the time it is not. We see something and our sense of justice sometimes want to correct it and hold the other accountable. We want people to understand our POV especially if it is not popular. In my experience I began engaging in the same behavior We don’t consider how we look to those on the other side of the screen especially for people easily triggered by it like me I realized that raging and being pushy on Twitter was not very productive and hurt my reputation and bored my followers . As therapist  Kathleen Smith said in her book Fangirl Life  it just contributes  the  internet polarization.  It is just about stoking our egos  and trying to make examples of others . 

I stopped following the whole Aaron Carter fiasco because I felt the same anger and I was feeling the similar rage against him that people were feeling against Brian I

To paraphrase the song title I Can’t Make You Love Me I cannot make you love the Littrells However, I can ask you to measure emotional temperature against them Even their most ardent critics needed a break from this and fandom drama in general . It takes self-awareness to tune in with your feelings ante able to identify them and the triggers In the heat of the moment though we do it when it is too late.  It takes strength to leave an unproductive action or argument behind because we are afraid they will look weak a. Kathleen Smith Fangirl Life  We  cannot change people minds through arguments alone.  They must confronted personally  with the errors of their beliefs  from others   This goes for  both ordinary and famous people. 

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